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(no subject)
it is in all of us,
to defy expectations,
to go into the world
and be brave,
and to want,
to need,
to hunger for adventure,
to embrace change,
and risk,
so that we may breathe
and know what it is like to be

(no subject)
Ashley is HOME!
Going back to town on Sunday though, but Christmas is so soon! I'm doen exams on the 14th so I'll be leaving to come home then.

Hopefully there is a house party tonight because I want to get party it up with my girls back home :):) And, I need a damn good drunk. Two midterms again next week :(

(no subject)
i know i barely ever right in this anymore but i need to now.
well it's sunday again, which means another school week of heavy studying and massive loads of work to do is ahead of me. last week was a short week, but it still seemed long enough. i can see why everyone says october is the busiest month in university... midterms and everything is due within like 2 or 3 weeks of each other. i'm actually so excited for christmas. i probably won't be home anymore until then, and i come home on the 14th of december, which means i get about 3 and a 1/2 weeks home!
i got to see mike this weekend which made me extremely happy! friday night, we got out early from biochem and got the early bus which was awesome! then my sister picked me up around 4:30ish, and we went to wal-mart and then me, leah, john and ethan all went to don cherry's for supper! i got back to res around 7ish and studied and did school work all night, which sucks because it's really hard to do it when there are people partying. i'm actually really annoyed with it in here at the moment. i just really like my space and privacy and there's people around all the time. i do like it at times, and it definitely keeps you from getting home sick but yeah, i dunnno. anyway! mike was in ferryland for softball provincials, and it isn't to far from st. john's, so he ended up coming in for the night! he got dropped off here around 4:30ish, and then we just chilled and went to the mall for a bit, ate supper there, and then we came back to res and ended up drinking. it was a pretty good time. had it's on and offs moments i guess... but overall, i think it ended up being a pretty good night. i know this sounds lame, but i realize when i'm with mike that i'm only completely happy when i'm with him, or when i know he's around. like, i guess in here, when i do find time to go out, like i do have somewhat of a good time, but i either end of missing mike, texting him because i'm bored or something. it's just weird... i knew it was going to be like this before i came in here, but i just didn't realize how shitty it was. i'm going to my sisters this weekend though and babysitting my gorgeous nephew, who i love. actually! ethan alwaaays cheers me up, and he usually makes missing mike or home easier for me! i have to study alllll day today, i have another midterm on wednesday, which sucks. it is a good thing i am busy with school though, because it makes time go by faster, believe it or not.

anyways. i'm tired of writing.

(no subject)

don't wanna go back to st. john's!
i want mike to come back with me.
i'm such a sook but i really want to be home at the moment. i can't wait until this year is over with and mike is just in st. john's with me because he really is the only person who can keep me sane. if we didn't do long distance, i don't know what i'd do because i seriously tell him everything. i'm a big fucking baby. this sucks.

i love him.


university? whaaa
I miss Mike.
I miss my dog.
I miss my friends back home.
I miss my parents.

BUT. I'm getting used to it.
Sometimes I wish I was back in grade 12. Never thought I would say that when I got out. I miss being with everyone... I miss the way things used to be. I don't want to grow up. A huge part of me really wants to be home but I know the main reason for that is Mike. I need him in a lot of ways I didn't even realize until I moved in here. He's my best frend and he always always makes me feel better. I miss being in his arms. Fuuck. I don't want to wish my time away but I really want this year to get over with. He's coming in, in 2 weeks though! Can't wait!

I miss it...

(no subject)
so, i kind of miss writing in my livejournal :( i miss the days where i wrote about absolutely nothing.

exams have begun! well not yet for me... but tomorrow. i have math 05 tomorrow, english on wednesday (totally dreading all the stupid hand cramps), math 07 on thursday and physics friday afternoon :(  i have world on monday and chem on wednesday and then i'm done! it's clearly going to be a long two weeks!

other then exams, i am officially done high school! it's kind of weird because i still feel like i should still be those annoying kids in grade 7 or something. things have definitely changed a lot in the past year, kind of, or maybe not. i'm definitely a lot more closer to the people in my class, at least i think i am. me and mike are for the most part, good. it seems like were ten times closer then we've ever been.. itt probably has something to do with our maturity levels? pfft, or maybe not? who knows. 
in general, my life has treated me pretty good in my last year of high school. i'm both excited and nervous to go to university in the fall! i am really looking forward to becoming a nurse, hopefully anyways! i can't see me changing my mind, but i do know it's going to take a lot of work and it's going to be a lot of stress. i'm going to miss my house, my bed, my roooom. my doggy, obviously :( my parents, even though mom is going to be in st. john's for the first month because leah is going to have a baby :) and obviously, i'm going to be missing mike a tremendous amount and my friends back home. i think me and mike can stay together because i know, or i'm pretty sure, we both want it bad enough. i know i do anyways. but on the flip side, i would NOT be able to go back to school here next year... i'm just so sick of everything in that building, and i can't wait my sister to have her baby boy. i can't believe i'm going to be an aunt.. but nonetheless, i am so excited and i'm planning on spoiling him like crazy!

i totally fell in love with twilight this year too. i never thought i would end up reading them but i'm totally glad i did. i'm pretty much hooked and i can't friggen wait until new moon comes out in november! hopefully i'll watch it when i'm in there going to school.

anyway ..i need to go over more math! bleeh
i hate studying.


(no subject)
this weekend was pretty good.
friday was a snow day, so we kind of had a long weekend. me and mike had potsies for supper on friday, and then later he came over and we watched "children of men."  saturday, i watched basketball for a bit, and cassondra and lorraine came over, and they looked at my grad dress and we also tried on shirts for jills that night! haha, were cool :) we went back to the school and watched basketball again for a bit and then i left around 4:00ish with mike! i curled my hair that night... turned out alright i s'pose. then me, mike and james went to jills around 8ish! it was a pretty good party but i kind of felt bored at times, like i didn't know where to go or who to be with. i think her new years party was better but it was definitely better then staying home.  i drank 3 porn stars and 4 beer. the porn stars tasted really good at first.. and then they gradually started tasting worst and worst. i always find that with liqour though.. i really don't think i'm much for like alcohol period.. like nothing ever tastes THAT good to me, oh well.  well i don't know if anything interesting happened saturday night. i was kind of upstairs all night, chillin in steve's room with cassondra and everyone else who decided to come in. haha. me and mike got in a tiny fight at the very end of the night, before we left.. but it was stupid and it was probably because my eye was bothering me and i was pms'ing.. so yeah, i don't really see the point in getting worked up over fights anymore.. with mike or anyone. well i don't really fight with anyone else, and i can see when people got so much shit bothering them that they don't know what else to do, but to cry. but to me, i don't really make a big deal of it anymore, like to myself. like i don't think about it or cry about it. well sometimes i do cry, but only if it's major or i'm extremely disappointed or something. anywaaay.
today is a snow day even though it isn't snowing yet but it looks like it's going to snow... hopefully it does reaaal soon. i really hate going back to school after dinner for two periods. bleeeh.

well i'm outttt.
ash xo

(no subject)

i'm going to st. john's in like 2 hours!
can't wait
.. need badly to do something different on the weekends.

spirit day was fun :)

yelllllll for the 12'ssssssss
ash xo

(no subject)
i did good on my midterms! better then i thought anyways :) :)
sinnn johns this weekend. get to see my preggo sister!

mike gave me roses for valentine's .. 2 pink and 2 yellow, and a teddy better and some chocolates. it was cute.

gotta get my eyebrows waxed.

valentine's day.. tomorrow? haha
yep. so... i haven't updated in forever and i actually haven't felt the need to. i don't know where to start or what to write about so i'm just going to ramble.
so! i'm going to be an aunt... can't wait for that!
and a maid of honour in april and also...
graduation in may!
tomorrow isn't valentines day but i think me and mike are exchanging our gifts tomorrow, because were both going to st. john's this weekend and even though i'm going to a movie with him we won't really have time to exchange.
well we got in a fight tonight on the phone, which really isn't surprising but i told him i didn't want anything and then when he went he didn't say "i love you" so i probably got him pretty pissed off, but he does the same so pfft. whatever man!
and midterm marks back tomorrow which i'm terribly nervous about. hope i did alright though.. if not, i'm screwed for getting into nursing :(

i wanna be young again.  i wish i had no worries.
it would feel nice to be young, innocent and naive.
but then again, i can't wait to be an aunt and start a new chapter in my life next year... although i'm super nervous.
and me and mike are staying together i guess? see how that works out... but a part of me really don't trust him. oh well.

i'm in a bad mood.